To: A Fart

(1/3)
I cannot help but vent a few words.
I am human, with normal emotions, desires, and a full circle of family and relatives.
I get tired, and damn it, there are times when my head spins and I can't squeeze out a single word.
What is wrong with you people? I missed three days of updates, and immediately comments about someone dying or family members having funerals started popping up.
Don't be so full of hostility. Missing updates is my fault, I admit it, and I offer my profound apologies! Alright?
Please bear with me.
...
The above was the polite part, now for some unpleasant truths....
Cangshan completely understands normal urging for updates. As I mentioned a few days ago, I also went through my vigorous twenties, so I won't yell or curse at normal urges.
However.... push me too far, and that's a different story.
Wake up, kid.
I am not your father, and I don't have the boundless tolerance required to coddle your little temper. Neither am I obligated to raise and educate you like a beloved son or a precious baby.
If you had actually paid money to read this book, you damn well would have known what I wrote at the end of the final chapter.
If you were a human being and not a beast, you wouldn't casually fling remarks about someone's family having a funeral into the review section.
If your actual father had ever taught you how to act like a decent human being, you wouldn't bring that subservient, bootlicking attitude out into society to play the eternal adopted son.
I don't expect you to love my book very much, nor do I expect you to have any deep understanding of the author.
I am simply begging you: can't you act like a straightforward, decent person?
If you can't wait, call a cab and get the hell out of here!?
Rest assured, one hundred and twenty percent, nobody is going to stop you from taking even a simple "bye-bye" with you.
What I despise the most is cowards hiding behind a computer screen with an internet cable, thinking they are some kind of patriarch, completely clueless yet acting as if they can do whatever the hell they want!
If you can't even take responsibility for the words coming out of your own mouth, what on earth are you capable of doing?
What even is that stuff you're spewing?
Farts?
At least show some respect for yourself, and some respect for your real father.
Don't live your life like a beast.
....
Screw your grandfather.
(1/3)

(2/3)
Which bastard failed to tie his trouser belt properly and let you slip out?
Do you even know that this counts as public indecency?
It's against the law.
——————————
To be completely honest, if you insult me personally, I can swallow even the harshest words.
We did have guests over, but it was only for two days—sharing a meal, reminiscing about decades of school friendship, and that was it.
The reason I didn't update: first, my lumbar vertebrae have flared up, and my entire body from my buttocks down to my thighs is utterly numb.
Second, insomnia has driven me to the point where I've wanted to die. Have any of you ever gone to sleep around eleven or twelve in the morning, only to wake up sharply by three in the afternoon?
Do you know what it feels like when your eyes ache from exhaustion and your scalp goes numb, yet you simply cannot close your eyes and fall asleep?
Have you ever experienced getting only three to four hours of solid sleep every single day for over a year straight?
It was truly agonizing, and I couldn't write a thing, so I used the guests as an excuse to take a two-day break....
It is indeed my fault, so go ahead and curse me.
However....
Leave my family out of it.
I only have three family members in total: my parents and my wife.
My parents passed away when I was in my early twenties.
Before I even knew what I was doing, before I even understood the meaning of filial piety, they left this world to wreak havoc elsewhere just to give me a little peace of mind!
So, through all these years—from ignorant to understanding, from a child to a man—
My only regret is that the tree desired stillness, but the wind would not stop; the child wished to support them, but they were no longer around!
That is my absolute taboo; anyone who brings up my parents will face me in a fight to the death.
Someone like you isn't even fit to fart!
I'm afraid the old folks up in heaven might catch the stench.
My other family member is my wife. Back when I was a complete nobody who knew absolutely nothing, she stuck by me and believed in me.
Ten years.
Isn't there a saying? If a man lets a woman down for so many years, what reason does he still have to keep her?
I am very fortunate that someone was willing to be disappointed in me for ten years.
What gives you the right to curse her?
(2/3)

(3/3)
You unparented, unmannered piece of trash! You can't even endure three days of waiting—would you ever be willing to sacrifice ten years for someone else?
Or do you even have the capability to make someone else spend ten years on you?
You don't.
You are nothing more than a fart trapped under a quilt! Even a dog would find you too stinky if you leaked out just a bit.
...
Being able to wait doesn't make you a paragon of perseverance. If you can't wait, turn right and walk out the door; nobody will accuse you of being fickle.
Why do you feel the need to show off, lifting the corner of the quilt just to make an appearance?
Is your sense of existence truly that pathetic?
Is your life really that desolate?
Put your energy into proper pursuits instead. China is truly a wonderful place—it can feed all kinds of people, but it doesn't feed freeloaders.
Why pick a bone with a simple storyteller like me?
...
——————————
Finally, a word to the patrons who read properly: there will be an update tomorrow.
And it should be three to four chapters.
Regular readers need no further explanation; a single glance is all it takes for everyone to understand.
Cangshan only has this much ability—nothing grand, just barely enough to scrape by.
To new readers, let me add this: Cangshan is not a prolific writer, and my health is poor—very poor.
I might disappoint you, so please don't set your expectations too high.
You will be disappointed.
.....
Oh, by the way, to the trolls.
You can curse me all you want, but don't touch my taboo.
I won't fight you to the death, but I will burn ghost money for your grave.
I just refuse to be your real father.
(3/3)