Episode 145: Collective Absurdity

“...Thinking of the moments when we held hands, my tears turned into rain, filling the sky...”
Buzz, buzz.
Listening to Ji Shengnan’s new song *Thinking of You*, Boss Li welded a conversion bracket while enduring the roaring voice of Yang Shiren over the phone: “Li, you fucking bastard, you have no code of honor! You took three billion from the Yang family!!”
“Hey, Boss Yang, it was one.billion five hundred million plus ‘Daye Film and Television’.”
Li Jie replied calmly, multitasking as he worked. “Besides, are you sure it’s me who has no code of honor? Boss Yang, stalling for time isn't a tactic only you know how to use. We’re all adults here, don't be so naive, alright?”
“Yang Ying was right, you’re nothing but a fucking dog!”
“Well sworn! Boss Yang, just for that curse, me taking eight hundred million or a billion from you isn't too much, is it? Hehe, putting a bounty of only thirty million on my head—isn't that showing disrespect? And you even posted it in Wa-nu. Tell me, does your Yang family look down on me?”
“You’re seriously looking to die...”
“Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk...”
Shaking his head repeatedly, Boss Li wore a look of utter disdain. He reached out to take an unopened battery from Han Zitong, unwrapped it, swapped in a universal adapter, and successfully booted up an auxiliary robotic arm.
Previously, he had wanted to build a decent upper-body prosthetic limb, but the drive mechanism was always a bit lacking. The neural signal receiving patches required over a dozen points to collect bioelectric signals.
Only after disassembling the Yang family's high-end gear did Li Jie realize that expensive merchandise truly earned its price tag.
With just five signal collection points—as long as the shoulder wasn't damaged—the entire robotic prosthesis could be built just like Bucky’s arm, Captain America’s buddy.
Boss Li even painted a shiny little red star on it.
There was definitely a reason for him to be so enthusiastic. While prosthetic limbs were common on the market, high-end versions required customization, involving single-person bioelectric collection and neural data modeling—in short, tailor-made personalization.
There were plenty of university research institutes with the technology, but none yet available for ordinary people.
Renting a dedicated supercomputer cost 350,000 per day, and expert fees for building personal physiological data models ran around the same, adding up to six or seventy thousand gone in an instant.
With that kind of time to spare, ordinary products would have to do; spending tens of thousands to put together an auxiliary hand that simulated the functions of the thumb, index, or middle finger was enough to provide basic assistance.
Right now, Boss Li was essentially reverse-engineering the high-end gear from “Daxing Industry.” Of course, to play at reverse engineering, one needed the foundational skills to begin with.
As it happened, everything Boss Li was hoarding now was meant to build a mecha. A “Red-Horned Three-Speed” equipped with a “Zhonghua Great Cannon,” capable of blasting Yang Renshou’s ride to smithereens with a single shot, shouldn't be too much of a problem.
“One, Old Five Yang, you’d better not walk alone. I don’t allow anyone to be more arrogant than me. The moment you dare to walk alone, you’re dead for sure, and I’ll chop you into mincemeat to feed the dogs. What the hell are you acting so crazy for?”
“Damn it...”
Beep...
“DAMN IT!!!!!!”
Yang Shiren, usually composed, was once again infuriated by Li Jie. Meanwhile, Boss Li looked entirely disdainful. “Fucking retard, idiots dreaming of mechanical ascension can go eat shit.”
Then Boss Li tossed his phone away. Han Zitong caught it out of the air and asked, “Aren’t you afraid the Yang family will trace the signal?”
“Are you a moron? Yang Shiren knows perfectly well I’m in Jiankang.”
“...”
Han Zitong wore a gloomy expression, only to realize that the phone in his hand had not synced its latitude and longitude. The call with Yang Shiren had been made via satellite phone, using a communications satellite belonging to “Yongle Media.”
Rock solid.
Seemingly unhinged, but actually steady as an old hound.

Picking up the robotic arm—or rather, the prosthetic limb—Li Jie secured the strap to Han Zitong’s arm and told him to try and control it.
When Han Zitong clenched his right fist, the “fingers” of the robotic prosthesis synchronized and contracted as well. This sight left Han Zitong dumbfounded: “Holy shit, this is the result of the Yang family pouring over forty billion into research over the past decade, and you fucking...”
“I’m just learning a bit of technology to shoot *Doomsday Guardian*, perfectly normal, right?”
“...”
“Pity it’s a bit rushed, still using electric motors. Hydraulics are actually best for this, reducing battery load. Aluminum alloy is fine for materials; ordinary people just need something to brush their teeth, wash their faces, or stir-fry vegetables with.”
“You’re not planning to sell this for money, are you?”
“What else? How am I supposed to shoot a blockbuster without money? I’m a major star now, I’ve got status.”
“...”
Actually, Han Zitong wanted to remind him that this involved technical patent issues, but then he figured that since they had already broken completely with the Yang family, there was no point talking about patents anymore—just get on with it.
Especially since his bounty on the “East China Bounty Alliance” had been raised to twenty million yesterday.
Although it was only a slight adjustment, the Yang family’s intent was simple: they wanted him dead or alive.
Han Zitong knew too many of the Yang family’s secrets, so they would never let him go. Even if he was a corpse, they would have to verify the DNA first.
Now they had no choice but to walk this dark path to the end. Boss Li had promised to help him recruit troops soon, but instead of recruiting anyone, he had gone off and blown up the “Daxing Industry Research Institute.”
Online, many had dug up the second live-stream footage of “What the Hell is Dang Dang Dang.” Only a handful of people probably recognized it as the “Daxing Industry Research Institute,” and that content had been scrubbed immediately, so no news linking it to “Daxing Industry” had leaked out yet.
Even the Luozhou Public Security Bureau’s official public statement was that Deputy Branch Chief Zhang Wenguan had led a team to crack a major criminal case...
What kind of criminal case it actually was had not yet been made public.
After all, several heavily armed personnel had been killed; this was not something a small-scale Luozhou Public Security Bureau could handle. After reporting it up the chain of command, their current focus was on solving the case with all their might and issuing the first-ever wanted notice for “Black Cat Man.”
Compared to the difficulty of an “arms smuggling case,” figuring out who “Black Cat Man” was was harder than ascending to heaven.
Because he wore a hood and a mask, not even a chin resembling a buttock was exposed—who could possibly tell who it was?
Consequently, the Huaixi Provincial Public Security Department’s abstract wanted poster caused the masks and hoods worn by “Black Cat Man” to sell out instantly.
Because of this absurd turn of events, online netizens directly connected the two incidents, reaching a conclusion: the content broadcasted live that day by “What the Hell is Dang Dang Dang” took place at the “Daxing Industry Research Institute” in the Luozhou “Science City.”
A group of local online influencers flocked there to check-in, and sure enough, they found clues.
Signs of a battle, bullet marks, explosion marks, bloodstains...
Unbelievable.
While everywhere else was celebrating, the atmosphere in the “Ten-Year Anti-Fans” group was quite eerie.
The reason? Simply because Boss Li had Han Zitong demonstrate the three-handed trick, and the sheer badassery of that robotic prosthesis had some of the rebellious sons in the group absolutely thrilled.
“Crab Bro, Crab Bro, all I want in this lifetime is to jerk off with my left hand again, as long as you can—”
“Cut the crap, call me Daddy.”
Boss Li, whose ID was *Daddy is Hard*, didn't give the rebellious sons a single chance to pull a fast one.
“Daddy.”
The ID *Rice Paddle of the Doomed Family* surrendered his integrity without hesitation.

“Handsome, you really get it~~”
*“Don’t do this, Godfather~~”*
“Call me Daddy!”
*“Not Daddy, stop it~~”*
“Alright, measure the size of your right hand yourself. You need the circumference of the upper arm, forearm, palm, and fingers, plus test your grip strength. The more detailed the static physical measurement data, the better. Have your old man help you, hear me?”
“I’ll have my old man treat you to herbal tea, Crab Bro.”
“Blech blech blech blech blech~~”
Boss Li sent an animated sticker of a cartoon crab sticking out its tongue, then @'ed all members: “If you need anything, have Brother Guo compile the data, or @ *Linlang Xiaoxiaosheng*—he just had his rectum surgically removed and is currently resting up with nothing to do.”
“Thanks for your hard work, Brother Xiao. @*Linlang Xiaoxiaosheng*”
“Thank you, Brother Xiao. @*Linlang Xiaoxiaosheng*”
Xiao Yuanyin, who was currently attending an internal discussion meeting on the “Luozhou Science City Major Arms Smuggling Case,” had originally intended to silence his communication device. But because it was a plenary meeting of the Sanjiang Provincial Department with a massive turnout—a gathering of ace detectives and macho men—his presence or absence as a slacker didn't matter.
Thus, Bureau Chief Xiao was huddled in a corner playing on his phone, and the moment he unlocked it, his device almost crashed from notifications.
A bunch of people were @'ing him, alongside a pile of unclaimed red envelopes. Tapping into them, he realized Li Jie was up to his antics again.
Furthermore, Li Jie had sent him a private message: “Bureau Chief, I want to buy the Public Security Department’s abandoned factory in Lishui. Any connections?”
“You want a factory?”
“What would I want that for? I want the manufacturing license.”
“...”
Bureau Chief Xiao fell silent for a moment. After a fierce internal battle, he typed out a line and sent it: “Will cost ten million.”
No helping it; this was outside his jurisdiction, and the logistics folks all had this kind of appetite.
That ten million wouldn't go to him, Xiao Yuanyin either; it was being pocketed by those protected by the “Register of Heavenly Officials.”
Actually, it would have been more convenient for Li Jie to approach Su Yongzhi. After all, as one of the “Seven Councilors” of the Canglong District, he was also qualified to exchange pleasantries with the bigwigs of the Provincial Council.
Since Li Jie chose to approach him instead, there had to be a reason.
They were all grasshoppers on the same boat; if they were going down, they were going down together.
Failing to share wealth was a matter of human nature, but being able to share adversity was standard operating procedure...
Meanwhile, Chen Pi had already registered “Hairy Crab Industry” for Li Jie. Despite the rather unpretentious name, Chen Pi managed to mentally deliver some high-end flattery.
After all, the roe and crab fat of hairy crabs were the most fragrant and delicious of all crabs.
Products from Hairy Crab Industry were bound to be exceptionally fragrant as well...