138. It’s All Technique

Bzzzt, bzzzt...

At Little Star Farmstay, Li Jie was busy hand-welding a strange contraption. On the outside, it looked like an ordinary capacitor array—and in fact, that was exactly what it was.

There was something odd about the array, especially the material used for the capacitors. Han Zitong only knew that it seemed to be the sort of material required in ultra-high-voltage environments. It resembled polyester capacitor material, but definitely was not.

Because Li Jie had “fired” it himself in a reaction vessel.

With a cheerful, “Pour it on~~,” he had somehow hand-crafted a specialized material.

The crucial “secret sauce,” however, had been purchased by Li Jie from the Supramolecular Materials Laboratory at Jianye University.

He had not stolen it. He had bought it fair and square. His “creative talent” had claimed he wanted to make a flashy electrical-discharge prop, though not one of those Tesla-coil contraptions. Jianye University had not been suspicious. After all, he had not ordered very much.

“What’s this for? A flywheel? Why does this flywheel look so familiar?”

“Ah, it’s a classic reproduction from an old submarine.”

“...”

Boss Li connected the cables, then inspected the “cable tray” once more. It stretched into the cave, where an enormous electrolyte tank had been installed.

After checking the control panel from beginning to end, Li Jie finally nodded in satisfaction.

“No, seriously, what am I looking at?”

Grrrrrrrulp!

Today’s meal was porridge. Han Zitong had been varying his diet lately; eating lavish meat dishes at every meal simply would not do. Today he had plain rice porridge with dried radish and pickled mustard greens, along with a salted duck egg from Qinyou County. He had thrown away the white, which was unbearably salty, but the yolk was astonishingly delicious.

He slurped down his porridge. It had been chilled in the refrigerator beforehand, and cold porridge was exceptionally refreshing. It even improved his mood.

“Of course you don’t understand. This is high technology. What the hell would you know?”

Boss Li had also bought a tank of hydrogen and made a batch of hydrogen balloons.

When Li Jie released the balloons, Han Zitong still had no idea what the man was trying to accomplish.

Not until the thunder began.

“Thunder God, aid me! By urgent command!”

At the Yellowflower Abbey next door, the Taoist priest was also having porridge. He sat in the open-air pavilion, eating while watching the clouds roll and shift in the wind.

Though in this case, they were thunderclouds.

The priest’s research into the “Thunder Arts” was primarily intended for catching ghosts.

What the priests had never imagined was that Little Star Farmstay next door was also researching the Thunder Arts—just with a somewhat different objective.

Boom!

One million volts!

Han Zitong was stunned. This bastard was always capable of coming up with some new trick.

“With thunder... shatter the darkness!”

Inside the cave, Li Jie wore protective goggles. Bathed in the light of the electric arcs, he smiled with eerie delight. From a distance, Han Zitong suddenly understood why the role of “mad scientist” was so damn exhilarating.

It really was exhilarating!

Wooooo—

Two panels of the capacitor array exploded outright, but the problem was not serious. The data on the control panel inside the cave was leaping wildly. The process lasted only a short while before the flywheel began to turn.

When the numbers on the panel reached zero, the flywheel was still spinning. Then, as the generator started up, the flywheel began to slow. The change was imperceptible to the naked eye, but in reality, its energy was steadily decaying.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Designing an energy block for the Transformers.”

“...”

Boss Li was a patient man. Ever since filming The Doomsday Guardians, he had acquired a whole pile of technologies. Some were too advanced to be useful; others were advanced, but still practical.

The most practical one—and the one that could also make him some money—was a static-energy storage system. Its technical design was not intended for use on the ground. Instead, it tracked static electricity in the atmosphere and used it to replenish the energy of aerospace units.

Jupiter and Mars, in particular, were full of static electricity during their storms. Why not put all that energy to good use?

Earth had plenty as well.

When the clouds rubbed together, he could not say how much energy they produced, but filling up Boss Li’s Jianyuan Dark Knight Limited Edition would certainly be no problem.

This experiment lasted two hours. After accounting for the flywheel, internal resistance, and charging losses, it ultimately stored one hundred kilowatt-hours of electricity. The input had been three hundred and twenty kilowatt-hours, for a loss rate of sixty-eight percent.

But...

It was not a serious problem.

Using free electricity was still pretty satisfying.

Han Zitong asked the soul-searching question once more.

“Are you really from Earth?”

“Absolutely. And I’m Chinese, too.”

“This technology of yours...”

“Pretty damn impressive, isn’t it? I think so too. Once I buy an electronics factory capable of producing double-layer capacitors, I’ll modify the production line and make a fortune. I’ll call it Thunder God Electronics. What do you think?”

“That actually sounds pretty good.”

Old Han instantly felt that following this fellow around might not be such a bad idea after all.

Once the product was ready, the Ministry of Defense would snap it up, and the aerospace authorities probably would too. It would be useless on the Moon, but Mars would certainly have a use for it.

Thunder God, aid me!

Bzzzt, bzzzt...

Your battery is fully charged.

That was so damn cool!

The system could even track atmospheric storms specifically. When it spotted the eye of a typhoon, it could fly straight into it. After all, the eye of a typhoon was calm and peaceful.

Then Han Zitong looked over Li Jie’s procurement list and immediately decided that only a complete genius would undertake such a business.

The low efficiency was bad enough.

A hundred kilowatt-hours in total, at two yuan per kilowatt-hour, came to only two hundred yuan.

So how much had this Li fellow spent to make those two hundred yuan?

More than three million.

What a lunatic.

Unless Li’s surname referred to Li Jing, the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King, where exactly was he supposed to find a Thunder God to help him every single day?

Li Jie had of course seen what Han Zitong was thinking, but he could not be bothered to explain.

Instead, after finishing his work, he handed Han Zitong a file folder, along with a complete silicone mask set.

“Here. I always keep my word. From now on, you’re Zhao Bajiao, who escaped from the Red Star Welfare Home thirty years ago. Your childhood nickname is Eighth Brother, and your current nickname is Old Eight.”

He slapped the file folder into Han Zitong’s hands, then pointed at the silicone mask set.

“You know how to use the silicone head, right?”

“What?”

“The silicone head mask. Shortened to ‘silicon head.’”

“...”

Han Zitong remained expressionless as he accepted the items.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t sitting around eating free meals at the Kaihuang Group. What equipment haven’t I used?”

Ten minutes later...

“Holy shit, why does this mask fit so perfectly? I can’t even feel the layers.”

“What, are you some country bumpkin? It’s made from Yongle Group’s skin-like material. It’s incredibly thin, but it’s an ultramolecular composite with outstanding elasticity. Most importantly, it’s affordable. I can actually afford it.”

“Not bad. I wonder if the National Homeland Security Bureau has ordered any. This thing is impressive.”

“Don’t forget to attach the fingerprints. They have samples in the database.”

Seeing Han Zitong getting a little excited, Li Jie let out a cold laugh.

“If you think this means you can sneak into the capital and meet your son, then you’re dreaming. I strongly advise you not to try it. The moment someone draws a vial of your blood, you’ll be exposed. Do you really think the Yang family would fail to keep an eye on your wife and child?”

“...”

“And based on my years of watching movies online, the pretty boy beside your wife might very well have been planted there by the Yang family. He’s only following orders. If you go back and kill him, won’t that expose you?”

“You’re right...”

“If you’re going to kill anyone, kill your wife. Why kill some young, sunny, handsome kid?”

“...”

“Take my advice. Women are like clothes: once the old ones are gone, new ones will come.”

“You son of a—”

“Look at you getting worked up again. Even if I gave you a gun, you still couldn’t beat me. At your age, stop losing your temper over everything. Cheer up. Once you’ve figured out how things work, Jianye is full of little party girls. Pick one at random and have a kid. Wouldn’t life be better then?”

“You really are a beast...”

“As for me being a beast, I don’t think you need to mention it every single day.”

Boss Li popped a piece of chewing gum into his mouth and shrugged with complete indifference.

“You make it sound as if anyone doesn’t already know. All right, I’m done arguing with you. Take care of yourself. Now that you have a new identity, go stroll around town. Eat whatever you want. Call a girl if you like—just don’t bring her here.”

As he spoke, he tossed Han Zitong a set of keys.

“I got your driver’s license sorted out too. The Bathhouse Emperor parked outside is yours to drive. The bathhouses it’s visited recently are all in relatively safe areas. Just let the vehicle’s navigation system handle it.”

“...”

“I’m off. I still have to work overtime tonight. I’m not like you retirees.”

With a sharp screech, the motorcycle leapt into motion. Boss Li put on his helmet, caring for no one and nothing, and soon vanished around the distant bend in the road.

“Damn it...”

Watching Li Jie disappear into the distance, Han Zitong cursed under his breath. Yet he knew perfectly well that the bastard had been right about every word.

Unlike Li Jie, who had flown over the wall, Old Han opened the electric gate and slowly drove away from Little Star Farmstay. Only after reaching the national highway did he speak.

“Hello, Cortana.”

“I’m listening.”

“Navigate to the nearest bathhouse.”

“Which one would you like to go to?”

“The first one.”

“Now navigating to Buckingham Palace Happy Bathhouse.”