033. Iron Man, Have You No Shame?

The Stark Industries Expo opening ceremony? Su Ye calculated the time—he’d arrived in this world a little over a month after Iron Man made his debut, and now another three months had passed, making it four months in total. But in the movie, didn’t the Stark Expo start six months after Iron Man’s debut? Why was it happening earlier now?

Was it a butterfly effect caused by his own arrival? Would subsequent events also be pushed forward? What if Thanos showed up on Earth tomorrow and snapped his fingers, wiping Su Ye out just like that?

Thinking of Thanos, Su Ye suddenly recalled all those genderbent images of superheroes and villains he’d seen online: Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and even Thanos. The female version of Thanos had a completely different aura from the old, purple villain in the MCU—sultry, mischievous, with her pants slung low to reveal a sharply defined waist, almost shamelessly provocative.

(A glimpse can be found on the cover.)

A Thanos like that would certainly make for an interesting showdown. He wondered if his Girlfriend Card could ever unlock a female Thanos. If it could, just imagine—two purple powerhouses snapping fingers at each other: she snaps, half the universe vanishes; he snaps, they all come back; she snaps again, gone; he snaps, back again… What a spectacular scene that would be.

Unfortunately, a legendary Girlfriend Card of the six-infinity-stones glove version of Thanos would require drawing from the highest tier—the rarest of the rare, from the rainbow set among gray, white, green, blue, purple, gold, and rainbow cards. Right now, Su Ye could only manage a ten-pull of green cards every two months; for a ten-pull of rainbow cards, even ten years might not be enough.

A long road ahead.

That night, Su Ye and Gwen sat in the stands at the opening of the Stark Industries Expo. At the center of the venue, dozens of dancers of various skin tones but universally curvaceous figures strutted in tight, revealing outfits, each with three brilliant spotlights hanging from their chests, energetically putting their charms on display.

One of those “spotlights” was a true replica of Iron Man’s arc reactor—a genuine, glaring lamp.

“Enjoying the view?” Gwen’s voice floated beside Su Ye.

She knew exactly where his gaze had lingered. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the voluptuous curves of those dancers; her own figure barely made it to a B-cup, a far cry from those C-cup bombshells.

Su Ye smiled. “You think I’m looking at their spotlights? No, you’re mistaken. Those gaudy girls are nothing but fleeting illusions to me. True beauty lies in suitability, in depth, not in mere size.”

Besides, when it came to size, none of these women could compare to Mai Shiranui. Their only advantage was in numbers, creating a landscape of peaks and valleys that made Su Ye momentarily fanciful, imagining his head squeezed between those lights.

He withdrew his gaze and looked up at the sky. “The real show’s about to start.”

The surroundings were ablaze with lights and fireworks, the sky polluted with so much artificial glow that not a single star was visible. Yet, with his abilities, Su Ye could see a transport plane in the sky, from which a fiery streak shot out, diving toward the expo, weaving through the fireworks.

That streak, of course, was Iron Man. A showman’s entrance, befitting a showman.

And what could be more flamboyant than descending through a barrage of fireworks, except perhaps getting one’s face accidentally blasted by them?

Su Ye’s guess was correct: the expo’s early opening was closely tied to his own appearance as Spider-Man. The egotistical Tony Stark could tolerate being compared to Spider-Man online, but he could not stand not being the center of attention. Even in New York, away from his home turf, he was determined to be the city’s brightest star.

With the expo’s grand opening and this ostentatious entrance, his fame would soon ascend another level. By then, no one would care about who was stronger, Spider-Man or Iron Man. If Spider-Man wanted to compete, he’d have to come up with an even flashier entrance first.

Tony Stark had never been outdone—especially not in grandstanding.

Boom!

Iron Man landed on the stage, dropping to one knee like a god descending to earth. Instantly, the atmosphere in the venue soared to new heights.

“Tony, I love you!”

“Tony, look at me—Ah Wei has fainted!”

“Tony, I want to have little iron babies with you!”

With the help of robotic arms, Iron Man shed his armor, revealing Tony Stark in a suit, standing debonair on stage, waving to the crowd.

“I never said the world’s new era of peace was because of me!” Tony Stark launched into his grandiloquent opening remarks, sounding rather like a master of ceremonies—if a long-winded one.

“I never said that no one else in the world could rise from the ashes, phoenix-like, as I have!”

“I certainly never said that Uncle Sam can lounge in a deck chair with iced tea only because I’m always at the top of my game!”

A pause here, and applause was expected.

Most of the audience were Iron Man fans, so they dutifully cheered and shouted.

But before Tony could continue his performance, a discordant voice rang out.

“Stark! This is New York—what have you ever done for us?”

“Uncle Sam can sip tea in peace because Spider-Man defeated the Green Goblin for us! Otherwise, your expo would have ended up a disaster like the Space Exploration Carnival!”

“Spider-Man didn’t need to rise from the ashes—he debuted at his peak and has been protecting us ever since. He’s our guardian angel, the true protector of New York!”

“Spider-Man’s done so much and hasn’t uttered a word, but here you are grandstanding. Iron Man, do you have no shame?”

On stage, Tony’s face turned awkward. To be so bluntly rebuffed during his moment of glory, and worse, not being able to identify the heckler or retaliate by firing them or buying out their company—it was an intolerable loss of control.

In the audience, Su Ye was grinning from ear to ear.

Not because of Tony Stark’s embarrassment, but because of what those spectators had said.

To be called New York’s guardian, its protector, to his face—this was a first, and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud.

If only they knew that their so-called protector had no interest in saving them; that his fight with the Green Goblin was initially just to please his girlfriend, and later to draw more Girlfriend Cards, with their rescue merely incidental—he wondered what they’d think then.

I’m not your hero, nor have I ever wanted to be. Please, make sure you understand that!