Chapter 64: Wits End with the Toilet

Ronan did not rush to send invitations to his parents.

Easter fell in mid-to-late April, just before Labor Day, which was still a month away. He planned to have everything properly prepared before contacting them.

Besides, during this time he was frequently going back and forth to help out in various fields all over the village of Lourmarin; there was no telling what unexpected twists might arise in the meantime, and utmost caution was always the best policy.

"I didn't expect to see you here again," exclaimed Cornell, who had once worked alongside Ronan on filling the soil.

Although there was a mutual assistance system among the valley's residents, everyone had plenty of work in their own fields nowadays, and those who could spare the time to help others were in the minority.

Yet, in most collective farming activities, Ronan and Cornell were regular fixtures.

"Weren't you coming too?" Ronan had learned his lesson and now wore a hat.

"I don't have my own land yet, but you have a vineyard, and—" Cornell shrugged. After working together a few times, he considered himself quite familiar with Ronan, "—and you're so rich."

He had no idea how much Ronan made at the market, but just selling truffles in a single week could earn them an entire year's income!

Good lord, a guy this wealthy, yet he was so keen on sweating it out in the dirt?

Ever since Lucas got rich, he had never set foot in the fields to do a stroke of work again.

Ronan took off his hat and fanned himself.

"The knowledge in books is limited."

Every sun-tanned farmer in the fields was a "teacher" in no way inferior to the system.

Who could guarantee that reality didn't hold things the system knew nothing about?

Especially since he lacked the energy to upgrade [Cultivation] to level 3... he had no choice but to learn more and ask for advice frequently.

His current experience points were exceptionally precious, and Ronan decided to refrain from acting rashly until he had a clear goal, saving them up properly instead.

"Alright," Cornell shrugged again, shifting to another topic. "Today is yet another day for planting vine cuttings. Has anyone in the village planted other crops these past two weeks?"

The news of the Mouriès Winemaking Cooperative's brand approval had stimulated every single farmer in Lourmarin.

Whether they grew watermelons or vegetables, everyone was now switching to grapes, terrified of missing out on this windfall opportunity to get rich.

"Sigh—" Ronan let out a long sigh, beginning to worry about the autumn harvest.

He hoped the Mouriès Winemaking Cooperative would step up and manage to take in all the grapes.

"Can these grapes only be made into red wine?" Ronan asked Cornell, a guy who spent every winter working at a winery for a period of time.

The Mouriès Winemaking Cooperative only produced red wine.

However, Pierre had told him that there were over a dozen different grape varieties in the Provence region, with plenty of people cultivating each one. The variety in Ronan's vineyard was called Grenache.

"Of course not." Cornell pointed to the vine cuttings on the truck that were to be planted today and explained to Ronan, "These are Cabernet Sauvignon. They can be used to make both red wine and rosé."

"It works like that?" Ronan knew nothing about winemaking.

Cornell cherished the opportunity to show off his knowledge in front of the wealthy Mr. Ronan:

"The main grape varieties in the Provence region are: Syrah, Grenache, Cinsault, Tibouren, Mourvèdre, Carignan, Cabernet Sauvignon, Rolle, Ugni Blanc, Clairette, Sémillon, and Bourboulenc. Among these, Grenache, Mourvèdre, Syrah, Cinsault, and Cabernet Sauvignon can be used for both red wine and rosé."

"Syrah provides color; tannins add aroma to the wine; Grenache is the most common in Provence, providing red fruit aromas and a full-bodied texture, developing hints of cured meat after aging; Cinsault is a native Provençal variety and also a table grape, carrying an intense fruitiness; Tibouren is the prime choice for making rosé; Carignan has small, tightly packed clusters, but it loves the heat, grows slowly, and matures faster under the gentle breeze, making it suitable for limestone soils; Carignan is better suited for barren land, but the soil in Provence is too fertile, so its yield is not very large, yet it imparts a vibrant color to the wine..."

Ronan listened in utter astonishment.

Indeed, every farmer could be his teacher... Even ordinary old Cornell could transmit so much knowledge to him.

"Cornell, if I ever own a winery in the future, I will definitely hire you to work there!"

Recently, Ronan's physical stamina had improved quite a bit, and tonight he had the energy to stay at the vineyard owner's house to enjoy a lavish dinner.

As the weather warmed up, daytime temperatures could reach 25 degrees Celsius, and people drank iced beer like water. Ronan had drunk a bit too much "water" in the afternoon and consumed quite a bit of alcohol at night, so he inevitably had to borrow the host's restroom.

In truth, Ronan was terrified of using unfamiliar bathrooms because he had endured far too many "horrific" experiences.

The toilets used in the Provence region were known as "Turkish toilets." He had heard they were designed by a Turkish architect to make things convenient for people, but as far as Ronan was concerned, they were far too "convenient."

The main body of a "Turkish toilet" was a shallow ceramic basin with a hole right in the middle, flanked by two footrests on either side, and a high-pressure flushing device installed at the rear.

The water jet from this spraying mechanism often had an unpredictable direction—one must never turn it on while squatting. Don't ask Ronan how he knew this.

Moreover, the ceramic basin was very shallow; a moment of carelessness and your feet would become one with the entire toilet and your own excrement. That scene...

After two months of observation, Ronan had summarized two rules of engagement for Turkish toilets:

First, retreat all the way to the doorway before pulling the flush lever, though this required an arm over two meters long.

Second, don't flush.

The second scenario usually happened in public places.

Many establishments in the Provence region installed automatic energy-saving devices—the light switch was located outside the restroom door, and a timer would automatically turn off the lights 30 seconds after a user entered, plunging the room into pitch darkness.

This energy-saving system, combined with the Turkish toilet, turned the restroom into a place as terrifying as hell!

Should he open the bathroom door first to turn on the light, exposing his excrement to the view of everyone outside, or pull the lever of destiny in the dark and then share the glorious masterpiece with whoever was outside?

The people who invented these two things were truly geniuses!

Unless absolutely forced by circumstance, Ronan would never step foot in an unfamiliar restroom; there was no telling what might be waiting for him inside.

Unfortunately, the moment of absolute necessity had arrived.

The good news, however, was that this place looked exceptionally clean on the surface.

A minute or so later, Ronan retreated all the way to the doorway, choosing to follow the first rule of engagement.

Fortunately, the restroom was small, and the length of Ronan's arm allowed him to reach the flush lever.

The next second, a jet of water as cold as a sharp sword slammed directly into his face, his chest, and his lower body...

Hearing the commotion inside the restroom, the host nervously ran to the door:

"Damn it, I was too drunk and forgot to warn you. We got sick of the torment of the 'Turkish toilet' and modified it. The flush pipe can be picked up and adjusted for angle; if you don't pick it up, it acts like a shower head."

Inside, separated by a single door.

Ronan was trembling with rage.

He never wanted to lay eyes on a "Turkish toilet" again for the rest of his life, never again!

In his ears, Ronan could already imagine the piercing shrieks of his fastidiously clean mother being frightened by it.

The plan to replace the toilet had to be moved to top priority!