Chapter Fifteen: Refusal

Page 1/3

Such matters were naturally beyond Song Baiqing’s ability to write about. He attempted to explain the stakes to Wen Zhiyan: “First, His Majesty has never issued such an edict. Rumors from outsiders are one thing, but if the Emperor has no such intention or is merely testing me, then for us to presume to interpret the imperial will privately is a capital offense!” Wen Zhiyan merely turned her head aside, sobbing silently. “If I were to put it in black and white, it wouldn’t just be me; the entire Song family would be implicated. Zhiyan, you have experienced it—you know that once His Majesty harbors suspicion, countless pieces of evidence are submitted to confirm those doubts.” Song Baiqing sighed deeply. “Zhiyan, I truly care for you and hope you could care for me a little more.” Wen Zhiyan, furious, sneered, “So, Master Song, are you blaming me?” “This isn’t about right or wrong,” Song Baiqing said, feeling a headache coming on. His family troubled him, Wen Zhiyan troubled him—it was a moment he wished to escape the pressure mounting from all sides. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself. “Zhiyan, I can give you my word, I can promise within my means to ensure your future security, but beyond that, I cannot provide more.” Wen Zhiyan looked at him. “What do you mean by ‘within your means’? Shouldn’t that be made clear as well?” “Do you not trust me at all?” “Then, Master Song, prove to me that I can trust you!” “So... your refusal to let me take that final step is because you don’t trust me? I earn money every day to support you; I don’t push myself if you don’t want me to. I care for you and respect your feelings, yet still you won’t trust me?” “Perhaps it’s because I’ve been in this world of fleeting pleasures too long. Men’s hearts change quickly. I do appreciate you, Master Song, but I must protect myself. What if one day you leave me...” Wen Zhiyan’s words were cut short by Song Baiqing. “That’s me. What if it were another man?” “Other men don’t know my past or how precious I am. But you do, Master Song. Naturally, you cannot be compared to others.” “So, you manipulate me like this?” For the first time, Song Baiqing felt utterly powerless. The conflicts born from protecting her, his family, and ancestors, the obsession that trapped him in the Song mansion just to see her face—his deep affection and passion were all doused by these cold words. Before leaving, Song Baiqing said simply, “I understand your value. In my heart, the most precious thing is that I thought you understood me, trusted me, that there was no rift between us... so I respected you. Now, it seems that was only my wishful thinking.” The two parted on sour terms. In the following days, Song Baiqing did not seek out Wen Zhiyan again; he didn’t know how to face her. He didn’t go to her, but someone came to him. On a boat on the lake, Song Baiqing slipped past the screen and saw Li Youwei.

Page 2/3

She sat by the boat’s edge, resting her chin on her hand, watching the ripples on the lake as the oars stirred the water into gentle curves. A maid led Song Baiqing in and announced, “Princess, the scholar has arrived.” “I know.” As a royal noblewoman, Li Youwei’s voice was languid yet carried a rare grace others could not imitate. “I am your humble servant, Song Baiqing, greetings, Princess.” “No need for formalities, Master Song. Please, sit.” “Thank you.” Song Baiqing sat down calmly. Li Youwei’s gaze shifted from the lake to him, then she spoke directly. “Master Song, do you have someone in your heart?” “Well...” Song Baiqing hesitated, unsure of Li Youwei’s intent or how to answer. “No need to be nervous. When you came to the palace to receive your reward, my father specifically called me to meet you. I wonder what feelings you hold toward me?” Song Baiqing quickly stood and cupped his hands. “I dare not.” “No need to be nervous. Today, here, there is no princess, no subject. You are unmarried, and I am unwed... my heart belongs to you.” Li Youwei spoke, a subtle shyness barely perceptible. She gently fanned her face with her hand, trying to cool the flush there. “Thank you for your favor, Princess.” “As I said, there is no princess here today, you may call me Youwei. I know you had a previous engagement, and other noble ladies may care, but I do not. I only ask if you have any feelings for me?” Li Youwei stepped closer, forcing him to lift his eyes to meet hers. “Princess, you are naturally exceptional—beautiful, talented, kind as a Buddha. No one in the capital has not heard of your renown. Baiqing admires you deeply...” “Admires? Is there anything beyond admiration?” Li Youwei, the eldest princess, was willing to humble herself to seek him out and confess her heart—already a rare favor. Song Baiqing admitted that in every respect, she was an ideal match. If he became her consort, his future would be boundless. But at that moment, Song Baiqing thought of Wen Zhiyan, tears streaming down her face atop the Drunken Wind Pavilion. If he became the princess’s consort, there would be no future with Wen Zhiyan.

Page 3/3

Song Baiqing stepped back, creating distance between himself and Li Youwei, bowing deeply. “Princess, you are noble, and I am but humble; I am unworthy of you.” This answer caught Li Youwei off guard. With her beauty and talent, even if she weren’t a princess, she would be more than a suitable match for Song Baiqing. Moreover, she was the only daughter of the current emperor and empress, the eldest princess of the realm. “So, you have someone in your heart?” Song Baiqing closed his eyes briefly, steeling himself. “Yes.” “Who is she?” “She’s no noble lady—just an ordinary farmer’s daughter.” “What do you like about her?” Song Baiqing smiled wryly. Indeed, what did he like about her? He hadn’t figured it out himself—was it because they once had an engagement, because he had fantasized about her, or because of who she was? “Matters of the heart cannot be explained by reason or logic. Perhaps she is flawed in many ways, but I happen to be fond of her.” Li Youwei gave a faint, resigned smile. “I understand.” Using “I” in the imperial sense, Song Baiqing knew Li Youwei had abandoned her pursuit. At the same time, he realized that from now on, the political path would hold no shortcuts for him. Compared to his engagement with Wen Zhiyan, rejecting the eldest princess’s favor completely severed any hopes officials might have had of marrying their daughters to him. How could someone so noble tolerate her suitor rejecting her only to wed a woman beneath her? Song Baiqing’s heart gradually cooled but also settled. It was a relief—perhaps he could remain unmarried all his life and focus solely on a quiet life with Wen Zhiyan. Thinking this, he eagerly turned and rushed toward the Drunken Wind, eager to share the good news with Wen Zhiyan. Yet Song Baiqing did not expect to witness the scene awaiting him.